Latino Harry Potter
by akittynamedpup
Summary: This is a story about what would happen if Harry was a latino... it's kinda random so don't be too mad about it.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fic ever. Yay! Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me so nyah!

Latino Harry Potter

Hermione walked down the dark hallways of Hogwarts going to the Gryffindor common room after doing her Potions homework for Snape. Her thick books were in her arms and she was looking quite pleased with herself. She had done a good job on her homework and was sure that Professor Snape would _have_ to give her a good grade for it. If anything happened to it, she would probably go insane.

Meanwhile, Ron was in the kitchens with the house elves. They were teaching him to cook. He had gotten a cookbook from Hermione for Christmas. She actually gave it to him because she had forgotten to get him something and it was Christmas Eve. It was the very first thing she saw when she walked into her favorite bookstore so she got it for him, but he thought she got it because she liked a man who could cook, so there he was. They were trying to teach him do simple recipes such as a scrambled egg, trying being the operative word. He wasn't exactly Emeril Lagasse. He couldn't seem to get it just right but the house elves didn't give up. He couldn't wait to show Hermione and Harry that he could cook, so after he managed to make a somewhat edible egg, he rushed out of the kitchens thanking the elves and went straight to the common room.

"Okay chicos y chicas tenemos que, kick, push, and coast. We have to get through este practice. Tengo que irme al common room and stuff so we have to get through it rapidito." Harry and his team were out practicing on the quidditch pitch and he really wanted to get it over with. He wasn't in the mood to be doing anything right now because his girlfriend, Chabelita, had lied and cheated on him. _She was una mentirosa_, he thought angrily as he rode his broom low rider style and everyone stared at him. The practice did actually go by quickly and soon Harry was on his way back to the common room.

When he got there he saw his two friends Ron and Hermione just about to say the password to get into the common room. They both looked excited about something. Maybe they would be able to get his mind off his ex.

"Lunascope" Ron said to the Fat Lady. She swung open and the trio went in. Ron and Hermione were beaming and Harry sulked. It had been a few minutes before Hermione and Ron noticed how sad Harry looked. It was Hermione who decided to tell him her news to cheer him up.

"Harry, I finally finished Snape's homework for tomorrow. It was a little challenging but I think I'll be able to wipe the smirk off his face when he sees my essay." Hermione smiled happily.

Harry however looked even more upset, "There was tarea para Snape? No me acuerdo que dijo que había tarea."

Hermione and Ron exchanged glances. Harry's green eyes looked angry and his brown face was flushed. "B-but there was, didn't you hear him? I have the assignment right here in my book. I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't assigned. I'll show you." She put down her other books and opened her Potions book. She flipped through the pages but after five minutes she still couldn't find it. "Oh no!" she squealed. She began to shake her book to see if it was stuck in her book and if it would fall out. "Shake shake just shake shake just shake chica shake shake"

Harry had had enough. He looked at Hermione suspiciously. He couldn't stand to have another girl lie to him today, even if it was about a stupid homework assignment. "Mentirosa!" he yelled at her while she just kept shaking her book

"No, no it was here!"

"Mentirosa! Mentirosa, mentirosa!"

Ron who was spaced out thinking about how beautiful Hermione's hair looked fluttering in the wind (although there really was no wind in there and her hair was going crazy because of her violent shaking) decided to tell them his good news. He thought that maybe they would forget their problems and congratulate him.

"Um dale huevo. Dale huevo," his Spanish sucked a lot, and though his Spanish did cause Harry and Hermione to stare at him and correct him, ("What did you want to say?" asked Harry. "I just wanted you to see that I made some eggs." "Oh then you say, Mira a los huevos que cocine," "Oh, what did I say?" "Well…" he paused, "give them eggs" he turned away blushing for there was another meaning) it did only that.

A few hours later, Hermione had found her homework and Harry did his homework. Ron still carried around his egg in the pan he had kind of stolen from the kitchens. It was cold and rubbery. Harry then told them about his problems.

"I was up in the pub with Chabelita and was like screw VIP because the people in there were still treating me like some sort of famous king. When we got out I was like uh-oh look out for the P to the I I to the T. Chabelita no me entendió so she fell in. That's when freakin Draco came in and he was all like 'I'm the ying to your yang.' He then took my girl away while he said something about 'taking it back like thieves and foes'. Then Chabelita was all like 'let's ride let's go Draco'. Then I saw they got crunk and drunk and I was like that's right I'm gonna roll." Harry never made sense when he was upset, but his friends gathered that ex had cheated on him with Draco, well at least that's what they thought he said.

"Oh come on mate. I know something that'll cheer you up. Let's go chica hunting. You'll see that there are a lot of hotter girls then Chabelita. We'll go after dinner:"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me... oh yeah and the songs used (Kick Push in the previous chapter and Shake) do not belong to me either so there! Enjoy chapter two! Although, I think ch. 1 was better... I dunno, you decide.

The trio went down to dinner. Harry with the hopes that he would soon find a new girlfriend, Ron with the hopes that the house elves would send up the food he had cooked earlier, and Hermione, well she really wasn't hoping for anything. As they all sat down to their meal, they found that the elves had actually sent them some ketchup as well.

"Well, that's a first. They've never sent up ketchup before," Hermione smiled. She loved ketchup. She picked it up and began squeezing the bottle to put it on her rather disgusting looking eggs.

Ron and Harry sat across from her. Harry took one look at the food and decided he was just going to eat some tamales he had made for Christmas. Hermione was still trying to get the ketchup out of the stubborn bottle.

"So Harry, where do you think we should go looking first? The library does have a lot of girls and everything but it'll be hard to hook up with them because we'll have to be quiet," Ron asked.

"No se, I mean we could also try looking around in the dungeons. Those Snape fan girls should be there. Siembren están ahí." Harry replied. Just as if his name was curse Snape appeared out of no where.

"So here are three young and eager Gryffindors. Thinking about having a bright future, you three?" before he let them answer he starting to talk again (blegh Snape. he points his wand at the writer "What did you say?" ummm nothing. Bow down to the almighty Snape). "Well I wouldn't bet on it. Those homework assignments were specially designed for your failure." evil laughter "Especially yours Hermione, last time I read one of your essays I almost barfed. It was awful. Well, unfortunately for me, I'll see you tomorrow,"

"Like it's not unfortunate for us?" Hermione muttered under her breathe as she still tried to get the ketchup out. "What is with this freaking ketchup!" And she began to shake the bottle violently, while the Seamus and Dean began chanting mockingly,

"Shake shake just shake shake just shake shake just shake chica shake shake" Hermione glared at them while still trying to get the ketchup out and "accidentally" ended up getting it all over their robes.

Meanwhile Pavarti and Lavender were having a heated argument about Firenze, and who he liked better.

"He likes me better! He gave me a hug yesterday and told me I had the best essay in the class"

"No I had the best essay!"

"Mentirosa!"

"Mentirosa!"

They started attacking each other and yelling and yeah… well typical cat fight, you know with the pulling of the hair and robes flying everywhere. The guys around them were scared yet curiously enjoying themselves. Ron of course had to pop into the fight with his Spanish that he had learned.

"Dale huevo, dale huevo," Both girls grabbed the cold eggs from Ron's pan and started flinging eggs at each other. Dean and Seamus had also started their own food fight. Pretty soon it was chaos in the Great Hall. Hermione dragged Harry and Ron away before anything else happened and a Professor would start asking them how it all got started. She dragged them as far as she could which was all the way to the dungeons. Nobody should have been there; it was after all dinner time.

"That fan girl's fine!"

Ron and Harry were ogling at the fan girls that were hanging around the dungeons. Harry was right. There were lots of girls there. Hermione however, was a little more nervous about this whole thing. Those girls were after all, Snape fans.

"It's Hermione! I knew there was something going on between her and Snape Get her!" one of the fan girls shrieked.

"Oh no, but this one's a killer!" She grabbed Harry and Ron's arms again and started running to anywhere but there. They raced through halls and did see many other girls (not fan girls but normal everyday Hogwarts girls) and Harry and Ron were still checking them out even though Hermione barely let them.

"That girl's fine"

Hermione accidentally bumped into Filch and stared at him wide-eyed.

"But- but this one's a killer!" Mr. Filch would probably give them a super detention if they didn't get away now.

She ran until they reached the Slytherin common room entrance.


End file.
